Wedding Speech, One Week Time Table

Wedding Speeches - The One Week Timetable

I have one week to prepare for my wedding speech - what do I need to do?

First of all, you might be sitting there thinking: "How on earth am I going to do this in a week?" On the other hand, you might be thinking: "Do it in a week? No problem."

If you belong to the first category I would say: "Stay calm, what you have to do is possible." If you belong to the second category (although if you do, you may be unlikely to be reading this!), I would say: "That's fine, but please make sure that you have a full appreciation of the different elements of the task in hand.

Unless you have already planned what to say, the first thing to do, if you haven't already, is to go to our website and get the Master Class Wedding Speech Secrets be it one for a Groom, Best Man or Father of the Bride. You will be able to work best with the pack if you print it off.

Plan your Preparations Next, consider your schedule for the week ahead.

How much free time do you have? Is it spaced evenly throughout the week? When can you rely on not being interrupted? Are your lunch hours available? Is it possible for you to book a day off work?

You need to set aside time to assess your Master Class material and make your selections from it, time to think up your own personal material, time to collate it all together and order it, time to get it onto cards (which you need to schedule in time to buy), and time to practise.

At the start of the week prepare a schedule charting exactly when you will do what and for how long. As the week progresses, keep track of how you're doing; if you lose time on one activity you'll have to speed up somewhere else. However please don't worry; there has been many a wedding speaker who has been in this situation and has succeeded massively, especially those who have been smart enough to take advantage of our Master Class Wedding Speech Secrets !!

Work out What to say

You can give a completely successful wedding speech simply by using one of the examples in our speeches packs. You can improve on it by adding two or three personal reminiscences, thus customising it for your particular wedding and guests.

So, you have your pack. Read through it - all of it (I know there's a lot, but it's a great opportunity to practise your speed reading!) and highlight jokes, quotes and toasts that appeal to you.

Whenever you have a spare moment, consider your Master Class Wedding Speech Secrets; remember that it is quite alright to choose sections from different speeches to create your own composite speech.

As you walk or commute around trawl through your memories for anecdotes etc which you can use. Carry a notebook so that you can write them down straight away. Don't leave it at the office! Also, do read the help files on our website; there is a great deal of useful advice on matters ranging from preparing your notes to practising and control of nerves.

Practice and Rehearse And lastly, don't panic. And to help you not to panic, be sure to get some practising in - as much as you can find time for.

Lots of practise won't make a bad speech good, but no practise is likely to make an otherwise good speech bad. No-one wants this to happen, least of all you.
Practise in front of a mirror and pretend that you are there at the top table, delivering to a packed house before taking your seat to massive applause.

If you follow these guidelines plus those in our Help Files and choose material from our pack which you genuinely like, backing it up with two or three solid personal contributions, it is difficult to see anything stopping you from being an immense success.

Bruno Barton :)

Copyright 2008 FineSpeeches.com
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Wedding Speech, One Month Time Table

Wedding Speeches - The One Month Timetable

I have one month to prepare for my wedding speech - what do I need to do?

You will save a great deal of time and the quality of your material will be assured if you buy the Master Class Wedding Speech Secrets Today !! click this link to find out why today is your best time to lock in to our great deal !!

In this article I assume that you are joining us today :)

If your choice is to write the whole of your speech yourself without our material, you must allow extra time to find or create you own humour and linking sentences and to craft the tone and style appropriately to your personality, audience and the occasion.

Your first action, then, is to download the Master Class Wedding Speech Secrets.

Once you have accessed your speech pack, read through the 5 speeches provided, decide whether you will use one speech as it is, or if you will mix and match from the 5 speeches.

Read through the extra jokes, quotes and toasts and put a tick beside the ones you like.

Spend a little time collating extra information from your memories and research with friends and relatives, and jot down any jokes that you have heard which are appropriate.

Also, do have a go at creating some original humour for the personalities involved in your wedding. This may not be as difficult for you as it sounds. Please see my earlier Bruno's Blog Posts for a whole series on this subject.

Decide on your 'final' material for the speech, bearing in mind you only need 15 or so snippets or jokes to fill 5 minutes when wrapped with linking material.

If you are unsure of any of this material you may wish at this stage to bounce it off someone to ensure that it is inoffensive to everybody.

The next stage is to arrange the material in a logical order, interspersing it with the material chosen from the Master Class Wedding Speech Secrets.

Now work on the exact wording you will be using for your opening. It is great to start off almost any speech in any circumstance with humour. If you can get them to laugh near the beginning it relaxes both yourself and the audience. If you can do this, everything else should be plain sailing.

So choose your opening remarks very carefully indeed; get an early laugh and you're on your way.

I recommend choosing your conclusion next, so that you are establishing the beginning and the end first, making them witty, sincere and profound. Your speech is like a bridge crossing a river; it needs solid foundations before the graceful arch can be constructed.

In writing the links you need words and phrases which smoothly progress from one passage to the next. Use transitional phrases like 'by the way' 'which reminds me' or 'changing the subject completely' and 'which leads me onto'.

Conclude you speech with a toast, chosen from those provided in the speech pack or one of your own.

Now put your speech away for a couple of days. Come back to it refreshed and go through it with a fine toothcomb. Do you still find the humour funny? Are you happy with the choice of linking words? How about the exact wording of the jokes and anecdotes?

Stringently remove and replace less effective words throughout the speech.

Put the wedding speech away for a couple of days.

Do the same again until you are fully happy with the material.

When satisfied with the content, you will need to reduce it to a set of notes on cards. Full guidelines are given in the "Free Help" section of our website. These guidelines have been developed from my own experiences over nearly 20 years as a speaker. They work for me, they will work for you too.

When you have your notes, I urge you to practise, practise, practise as much as you can. As you are preparing several weeks in advance, you have the opportunity to rehearse to such an extent that on the day you will know your material backwards. Make the most of this! Again the place to look for guidelines is the "Practise" section of our "Free Help" page.

I hope this all goes really well for you. If you follow this advice, it will.

Bruno Barton :)

Copyright 2008 FineSpeeches.com
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Free Help, Wedding Speech Etiquette

What did they think of my Wedding Speech?

They said: "As they can't hold me up as a Shining Example .... they'd just have to show me up as an Awful Warning! ..... They were joking of course. ..... I think."

We have probably all been to a Wedding where a speaker didn't gauge how different the families were and said something that either upset or offended one side.

To help you avoid this embarrassing situation plus looks that could kill from the bride's father, we have provided some useful hints about "traditional etiquette" below.

The first and most important principle to follow is that your wedding speech should be suited to the families and guests involved.

For example, if a very casual reception is intended, do make this clear to the guests and speakers, otherwise they will be confused and uncertain of what is expected from them. Nowadays it is common to depart from the strict formality of the past, so guests can no longer rely on the 'traditions' to guide them.

In today's world the reasoning behind some of the traditions is no longer relevant, or their purpose is no longer appropriate. Many weddings, if not most, now involve brides who are older than 20; furthermore the new wife is often NOT financially dependent on the new husband.

If you are interested in the origins of older traditions, we recommend Wedding Customs & Folklore by Margaret Baker, which is amusing and easy to read. It includes superstitions, love tokens, bride stealing and lots more.

If you think that the modern world is very 'liberal' and free about sex, just read what our ancestors got up to.

The world has changed, but there are certain customs that are still expected and nice to observe in celebration of the love and aspirations of the happy couple.

Some guidelines to consider:

The Toastmaster A more formal wedding may have a toastmaster.

The toastmaster opens the proceedings and keeps them flowing smoothly.

In the absence of a toastmaster the Best Man usually undertakes some of the tasks.

The Toastmaster's role includes:

Arranging the receiving line, and Introducing guests by name to the hosts.

Asking guests to take their seats, after the receiving line has welcomed everyone.

Announcing the arrival of the Bride and Groom, and escorting them to their places.

Introducing prayers before eating. If no clergyman is present, and no senior member of the families wants to, then the toastmaster often leads grace. Announcing the cutting of the cake, and inviting guests forward to take photographs.

Introducing the speakers, who will be proposing the traditional toasts, i.e. To the Bride & Groom - normally by the Father of the Bride, or an old friend of the family. To the health of the Bridesmaids - normally by the Groom. To the health of the parents, of the Bride and Groom - normally by the Best Man.

The Purpose of the Reception The traditional purpose of the reception is to welcome the guests who have often travelled a long way to be with you. It is also an opportunity to introduce members of the two families to each other.

Unless the families of the Bride and Groom actually live locally to each other, it is most probable that they do not recognise each other, so some introduction is helpful.

The formal part of this welcome is achieved by arranging a 'receiving line'. Wherever possible, the Bride and Groom together with their parents should arrive at the reception venue before the other guests so that they are available to meet them as they arrive.

The Receiving Line: The toastmaster or best man will arrange the receiving line. The best place is in an assembly area or the entrance to the dining hall. The toastmaster should introduce each guest, by name, to their hosts.

The traditional order in the line is:
The Bride's mother The Bride's father The Groom's mother The Groom's father, then a small gap The Bride The Groom This introduction is not the time for a chat but for a quick courtesy comment.

A compliment, thanks for the invitation, congratulations on the event, comment on the lovely service, etc. At some venues the design of the building or the number of the guests means that there is simply not enough space to hold a full six-person receiving line. In this case tradition allows for the Bride's mother to act as host, while the Bride and Groom circulate among the guests to welcome them.

The Celebration Meal: Once all the guests have been formally 'received' the toastmaster will ask them to take their seats for the meal. There is usually a seating plan and name signs at each table place.

Once the guests are seated, the toastmaster announces the arrival of the Bride and Groom and escorts them to their places on the top table. The guests stand and applaud during this. Normally seated at the top table are the Bride and Groom, their parents, the Best Man and the bridesmaids.

If grace is to be said, then while everyone is still standing is a good time. (Tip: The Bride and Groom should stay on their feet, as seeing them sit is a visual cue for the guests to sit also). If a clergyman is present, usually the one who performed the ceremony, then they will usually be asked to say grace. Otherwise a senior member of either family or the toastmaster may lead grace.

Cutting the Cake: Once the dessert has been completed the toastmaster will announce the cutting of the cake, and invite guests forward to take photos, if practical. The real division of the cake is usually performed by the catering staff and served to the guests with coffee.

Champagne: After the coffee, champagne or other drink is served.

The Toasts: At this point the toastmaster begins by introducing the speakers who will propose the following 'traditional' toasts:

The Bride and Groom - normally by the Father of the Bride, or an old friend of the family.

To the health of the Bridesmaids - normally by the Groom. (Presents now? )

- If the groom is giving gifts, now is a good opportunity. (Bride's speech now? )

- If non-traditionally the bride wants to say a few words, now is a good opportunity.

To the health of the parents, of the Bride and Groom - normally by the Best Man.

At the end of the formal speeches the toastmaster may ask the guests to applaud the Bride and Groom, or the entire top table, while they leave the reception room.

At modern weddings the bride may feel that she wants to say a few words, there is no special order for this and it can be fitted into the order at any point by agreement, make sure that the Toastmaster knows!

Presents: The Bride and Groom usually give presents to say thank you to:-
the Best Man the Bridesmaids their Parents

Who says what? There are traditions concerning the content of the principal speeches, as follows:

The Father of the Bride; Welcome all the guests to the wedding, on behalf of your wife and yourself. Thank them for coming to help you celebrate the wedding of your daughter. Tell them about your daughter - skills, abilities, achievements, character, reminiscences. It is common for there to be gentle teasing.

Tell them about your new son in law - skills, abilities, achievements, character, reminiscences. Perhaps more gentle teasing? Toast the Bride and Groom. "So, ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, let us raise our glasses and join together in wishing them every happiness. I give you the toast of the Bride and Groom, ... And ... May God bless them."

The Bridegroom; Thank the Bride's father for proposing the toast. Thank him for the wedding feast (if appropriate). Thank him for his kindness and friendship. Thank him for his daughter. Thank the guests for their good wishes, and for coming. Thank everyone for their gifts. Thank your 'new' wife for marrying you! Thank the Bridesmaids who have helped your wife through the day. Comment on their charm & beauty. - not too much, though, as you may make your new wife jealous! As well as the traditional thank-yous the Groom may wish to add a few words about how he met his wife, activities they share, etc. Gentle teasing is allowable. Toast the Bridesmaids: "Ladies and gentlemen, will you join me in drinking the toast of 'The Bridesmaids' - thank you."

The Best Man;The Best Man speaks on behalf of the Bridesmaids (and other helpers - ushers, etc.), and thanks the Groom for his toast. He also: Toasts the Parents: "I should like to add to the thanks to the parents which (Bridegroom) has already expressed on this wonderful occasion. I ask you to join me in drinking the toast of 'The Parents'". In addition to these two 'official' components, the Best Man's speech usually includes various anecdotes about the Bride and Groom. Again it is common for there to be gentle teasing. Telegrams, cards and emails may be read out from people who were not able to attend.

The Bride; There are no 'traditional' components to a Bride's speech. I refer back to my comments on how the economic and social realities have changed over the years.

Final Comments As you can see, many of the traditional components of the wedding celebration assume that: It is a religious ceremony. The Bride's father is paying for the reception. The Bride will be financially dependent on the Groom. Nowadays these assumptions are often invalid and you need to adapt to the individual circumstances.

Therefore many of the above notes on traditional forms may need to be altered or ignored.

However, the structure of the traditions seems a good starting point for wedding celebrations:

Welcome guests Celebration meal Speeches of congratulations and thanks Traditions give people guidance on what is expected of them. If you want to be different, let the guests know so they do not feel uncertain and uncomfortable.

Remember: It's a PARTY!

Bruno Barton :)

Copyright 2008 FineSpeeches.com No part of this article may be copied, transmitted, stored or used in anyway without the express permission of finespeeches.com. The adoption of any of our RSS feeds includes with it our express permission to receive and or display our unaltered content.

Free Help, Planning Your Speech

Free Help: Planning and Preparing Your Wedding Speech


Wedding speeches are an opportunity! - Make your mark!

"It usually takes me more than three weeks
to prepare for a good impromptu speech."
- Mark Twain

Clearly you want to wow your audience and have them laughing in the right places for the right reasons. To achieve this it is vital that you prepare carefully.
Professional public speakers are like experienced drivers: the skills needed have become automatic to them.

They are successful because they use the three P's of public speaking:
Preparation Practice Performance Even vastly experienced public speakers who appear to be speaking off the cuff generally prepare in advance:

Preparation Introduction

There is a lot to say about the preparation stage. It is the part that requires the most work and which the audience never sees. It is like the foundations of a building.

A building will crumble, or at least subside if the foundations and lower levels are not soundly built. It will look decidedly odd.

Without thorough preparation and good material it is hard to deliver a good speech even if you practice until you are blue in the face. This is why at this site we give you guidance on how to practice and perform your speech, and offer you the "The Master Class Wedding Speech Secrets" and a choice of extra material for your preparation.

Decide how to prepare your material Either make up your own, or use one of our ready-to-use speeches "as is" with only names changed. This is a simple and quick option.

You will have a quality speech, available rapidly; particularly useful if you have been approached for a speech with little notice. Or adapt a ready-to-use speech (this gives the chance to make it specific and relevant to the wedding couple and guests): Mix and match from several example speeches. Add and subtract jokes or quotations, Pay attention to the 'flow' and 'feel' of the speech.

Length of speech; Too short may seem rude, too long may be boring. Five minutes is a good rule of thumb (and will probably feel like a long time).
If you have an exceptional speech and prepare to deliver it really well, you might choose to stretch to 10 minutes.

However, bear in mind that if the other speakers did the same then the guests would be listening for 30 - 40 minutes, and if some of them are children you may encounter some unexpected 'heckling' as the children get bored - even if the parents are laughing.

A great subject You only need one excellent idea to make the speech successful and memorable.

To be of this calibre an idea needs to:
Be well suited to the humour tastes of the majority of the audience Be in some way relevant to the generally known history of the wedding couple or their families Grab the attention of the guests and involve them so they 'anticipate' the story outcome or punch line. (They don't have to guess right for this to work, they just have to be guessing).

The point is, if you find such a good idea, make the most of it. Don't feel a need to swamp it with other stories or jokes. You may find it possible to refer to the basic idea at several points in the speech. Audiences love this.

Don't worry if you don't find such an idea. Instead use a combination of ideas, stories, jokes and quotations and meld them together to achieve a similar end.


Gather Information Unless you intend to stick strictly to a pre written speech you will probably want to gather some information about the families and their histories.

Possible useful subjects might include:

The weddings and marriage of the parents - how times have changed?
Are the families both local, or have they come from different regions or countries? Marriage customs may differ between the families?
Where did the bride / groom grow up?
How did the bride / groom meet?
Have they had any unusual / special experiences?
Did they meet the Queen / President / someone famous?
Did/Do they travel extensively?
Have they received any awards or medals? Sporting achievements? Academic achievements?
Do they have any famous ancestors?
Do they have any interesting hobbies?

The anecdote does not have to be fantastically funny, because it benefits from being relevant to the families.


If in doubt, leave it out!

Avoid anything in dubious taste!

The point of the wedding speech is to entertain rather than to shock or offend. Avoid stereotypes. Avoid negatives, regrets or criticisms. Anything that may make the couple or the families appear foolish automatically makes you look foolish for raising the subject - even if you thought it was funny, some guests won't. Trust me on this. Avoid rude jokes or sexual innuendos unless you are VERY sure of all the guests and their sense of what is funny. Even then some guests may have children present and the parents may disapprove even if they found the joke funny. Get someone to check your speech for unintentional double meanings and puns.

Work out your structure Prune your notes and arrange them in order.
Make sure that you have included all the essentials - the thank-yous and the toast!

Get your material checked out. Did you know Uncle Silvester, for example, was an accountant? So avoid accountant jokes, or perhaps go the other way and make lots of them.

This may be particularly effective (or disastrous) if there are several accountants among the guests, or if the bride / groom is an accountant.

The point is ... find out days before giving the speech, this is particularly important for the best man who may not know the families well.

Avoid unwitting references to family skeletons - check with the "in-laws" as the bride / groom may not know of the previous generation's skeletons.
A good friend will tell you if it is really as funny as you think. A bad friend will tell you it's funny when it's not!

Speaker's Notes Benefits of different sizes of speaker's notes: An A5 card will be less distracting than a big sheet of A4 paper flapping about. You may prefer to use the smaller postcard sized "box-file" cards which can be mostly hidden in the palm of your hand, but you will need more of them, and it is harder to keep your place as you give the speech. We recommend that you get hold of some white A4 card from a stationer's. Cut the cards across the middle to create a set of A5 cards.


During the design and initial stages of practicing you may alter the wording and content several times. It may be useful to use your computer to alter the speech and put in 'headings' etc. using A4 paper. Then when the speech content is really settled, transfer the words in large letters to the A5 cards.

Note: Tips Don't try to cram the speech onto as few cards as possible! You'll never be able to read it. Feel free to abbreviate if it means you get a convenient section on one card. Number the cards in case you drop them.

Alternatively, punch holes in them and connect them with a tag or key ring. Highlight, emphasise and underline key words and phrases. Do this while you are practicing.

Once you are satisfied with your delivery during practice, you may find it useful to put 'headings' in suitable places. Make these large and bold. It is then easier to find your place if you do need to refer to the cards, and easier to spot the next subject.

"On-site" preparations

Check your transport arrangements - do you know the way there? and will you have a parking space booked? Have you allowed for the possibility of the train being late (ask yourself "what if" questions). Check out the venue beforehand if possible - where will you sit, where will you speak from, etc. Check any equipment - microphone? Lectern? Autocue!!? Check you have a glass of water to hand (and where is the toilet?!!).


Practicing Make sure that you can tell the jokes! If you find something funny it can sometimes be difficult to tell it to other people without ending up in a fit of giggles. This is amusing for the guests but does rather spoil the punchline. You may have an excellent joke or story but are forever stumbling over the punchline. To get over these problem:- Rehearse the joke out loud until it no longer makes you laugh. Rehearse it in front of a mirror, until you can get all the words out smoothly. Remember you might find a joke funny which others do not. If in doubt, check with friends.


Rhythm Practice as many times as necessary to get the phrasing, the pauses, the timing exactly right.

One speaker recommends you should practise an hour in total for every minute in the speech. So for a four minute speech, four hours practicing. This is not excessive.

Speak the speech - don't read it in a dull monotone. Speak it as if you are talking in conversation. Modulate your voice up and down. The larger the audience, the greater the modulation needed.

Visualisation How to "visualise" How many people will you be speaking to at the reception? Bear this in mind and visualise them - imagine yourself projecting your voice and 'presence' to the back. If you visualise them you will be less likely to get stage fright on the Big Day, when looking at a sea of expectant faces. Imagine yourself speaking clearly, don't rush it. In your mind's eye see the audience - make eye contact with them and move your gaze around the room as you should try to on the day itself for optimum effect. Visualisation is a great tool for any learned skill, including public speaking.


Eye contact Try not to have your eyes glued to your card. Read a phrase, look up and make eye contact, deliver it, look down for the next phrase. If you make a point of establishing eye contact with a different section of the audience each time, by the end of the speech you will have looked at and included everyone.
Practise your imaginary eye contact.


Snags? Visualise how you will effortlessly recover from any little problems that might occur on the day:

You spill your glass of water - possible recovery => step back from the spill, cover it with your napkin, apologise to the person sitting next to you and ask for their help, turn back to guests and continue ... e.g. "well I knew I had to do something dramatic to get started".

The microphone is broken => you project your voice magnificently.
You lose your voice the day before => now this is a difficult one! Have you got your speech completely written out (or typed) with headings and highlights? - then perhaps someone else can stand in for you, preferably after some hoarsely whispered guidance on the rhythm and timing which you had planned.

What would I say/do if ? ....... (what else could go wrong?) If you consider all the options, nothing will faze you on the day.

Practicing - and the reduction of stage fright There are techniques you can use if you feel assaulted by stage fright on the day (see "Performance"). You can also plan for the possibility of stage fright, and take action in advance to prevent or reduce it. It need not overwhelm.

Remember that most public performers will say that some level of nerves is necessary as it demonstrates that you really care about the quality of your performance and its effect on your audience.

Start by re-defining stage fright as being 'keyed-up and alert, ready to give of your best'. This is not quite so 'punchy', not such a good 'sound bite', but it is a more helpful way of looking at things. Make 'stage-fright' work for you! That way it doesn't seem so frightening. Even after effective practice you can still expect to have butterflies, but you should find that once you start speaking on the day they will fly in formation.

If you can stand the fear, practice in front of a friend (this is an excellent dry run because it is often more frightening than the real thing). Choose someone who is an encourager by nature and ask them to give constructive advice on your delivery, projection etc.

If you do this it will help you enormously in getting over your inhibitions. Try recording yourself onto a tape. You will hear your weak points and your strong points. Do this a few times, work on the weaker areas and you will hear a steady improvement. Check your modulation, does it need greater emphasis? As you rehearse your speech - Visualise the event, visualise how the reception will go, visualise yourself speaking, and most importantly visualise the guests laughing at your jokes - and give them long enough to laugh after each joke before continuing.

If you are afraid of stage fright on the day, visualise now! Visualise suddenly getting tongue tied, and then pausing, gathering your thoughts looking at the guests, smiling at them and continuing onwards.

Remember:
Persistent Practice Prevents Poor Performance

Performing A few notes on alcohol Some speakers unfortunately try to get over their stage fright by drinking alcohol. Nothing is more embarrassing to an audience than a tiddly speaker. It is amazing how silly a drunk speaker sounds.
By all means have one drink, but if you really want to do a good job, save the majority of the drinking until afterwards - by then people will be buying them for you!

It's also a good idea to lay off tea and coffee. Caffeine will make your jitters worse. Stick to soda water, mineral water or fruit juice, but not too much because you do not want to be caught short during your speech. Did you remember the location of the toilet?

Stage fright first aid On the day you will probably experience a certain amount of stage fright ("keyed up readiness - remember?").

Don't be afraid of it - no actor / comedian / speaker ever delivered a successful performance without a measure of fear.

However, stage fright can have unfortunate side effects - sweating, shaking, heart beating furiously, etc.

There are steps you can take to minimise these effects before you speak, namely:

Find the time to take long deep breaths - breathe right in, deep into your belly; slowly breathe out. Do it repeatedly. It works !!

Breathe in for four counts. Hold your breath and tense your toes for four counts. Breathe out for four counts. You should feel tension easing. Repeat with feet, ankles, calves, knees etc., right up your body to your neck, chin, lips, eyelids, forehead and scalp. You should be able to sneak this in without anyone noticing while sitting at the table.

If you have the time, repeat these exercises as necessary. When all is said and done, even if you have practiced endlessly and got your delivery perfect, on the day you will probably feel nervous to some degree.

In your nervousness you might imagine that you're shaking like a leaf and everyone can see quite plainly that you're scared stiff.

Consider these points:-
The audience are on your side - most of them would be scared stiff themselves. They're with you, not against you. If you don't transcribe your speech onto cards and you do shake while holding a piece of A4 paper, the shakes will be amplified by your speech flapping around like a windsock.

See "Preparation". In practice almost every speaker is far more nervous than they look. You might feel nervous, but if you practice, prepare and deliver according to these guidelines, people will in all probability come up to you afterwards and say what a good job you've done. Get your audience to laugh with you - an excellent way to defuse your own tension and nerves.

Delivery BE CONFIDENT. You have prepared everything that could possibly be prepared for this moment. You have practiced a lot, your cards are in your hand, highlighted and underlined. You can have done no more. Be confident in that. The audience want you to do well and will not be critical.

Remember that and be confident in that as well. STAND UP. Wait for complete silence - don't be afraid of silences and pauses, they can be as eloquent as words. Don't hurtle into the speech to get it over with as quickly as possible. Establish eye contact with the audience. Look around at every section of the audience.

Remember your visualisation? Put it into practice now. Weigh your phrases, don't rush them. Really use your pauses. After a punchline, wait for them to jolly well laugh and don't start again until they have stopped laughing. Should they not laugh at a joke, it's not the end of the world. Some lines are intended mostly as links and aren't necessarily meant to be riotously funny. Move on to the next line and whatever you do don't accelerate through the speech just because they didn't laugh at one point where you thought they would.

Remain measured, using your pauses to allow the audience to digest your words, get to the end, propose whichever toast is yours to toast, and sit down to take your applause.

Concluding Thoughts A quick note for the Best Man: don't read all the greeting cards the Bride and Groom have received.

A lot of people dread the Best Man's speech because so many Best Men spend absolutely ages at the end of their speech endlessly droning through a stack of cards which all say much the same thing. By all means read two or three of them, perhaps ones specially chosen by the Bride and Groom.

You should by now be armed with everything you need - give it all you've got!
Good luck and best wishes for a successful day.

PS: Did I mention...
Persistent Practice Prevents Poor Performance

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